Um......... okay. First of all, sry it's been such a long time with no posts at all. This.. week has just been pretty full on different sorts of surprises. Or, the last few weeks. I'm back in London again, and ever since I've hit the ground of Britain, most of my days have been full of running and sleeping, working and eating. A girl at the office said my life was like that song of some Swedish pop-band ABBA........ What was it, super-trouper or something? Anyways, the song says something about 'all I do is eat and sleep and sing, wishing every show was the last show.' Well, the song is crap, but I s'pose it has a true meaning, like, well some people do live like that. Or something.
But the song continues 'So imagine, I was glad to hear you coming, suddenly I feel alright.' And.... well, that really isn't the way things are right now. And when I'm saying this, I guess you know I'm talking about some person called Constantino Frost. Yup, just him.
Well...... remember the last time I met him? Like, he went out the pub, and I followed him and blabbery blabbery blab, and so on. I'm not 100 % sure, whether I told what happened at the morning after. Well u see, I finally managed to get a little info from his mysterious backgrounds, and all that, and well.... actually I kinda went interrailing 'cause I had to think about the stuff he actually said. I save u from the details, 'cause that stuff is kinda extremely personal and...... auchy.
But........ I still don't have that freaking number of his so...... okay, I'd actually know the place where he lives, but somehow my legs aren't able to move me there to talk things clear. But.... I really, really think, that I actually find him even more attractive, interesting, than before. And now that I've thought about it, I think I'll just talk to him through this message. I guess that is the easiest way. If he ever gets the note I shall someday leave to his postbox.
(If you don't want to hear some stupid nonsense-shit-fluffy-talk, then please, stop reading in here. Thank you.)
Ahemn. So, Conny. At first, I'm terribly sorry I'm reaching you this publically, stupidly through the Internet, where everyone can see my text, and see what I want to say to you. But I suppose that's the part of me, that's just craving for attention. You can call me a biaach afterward, but... just read this post first.
I've been thinking about the things you told me a couple of months before, and, again, sorry, I haven't contacted you before. Mostly it is because of my own cowardliness, sillyness, childishness... well, u can actually imagine nearly every word that means 'stupidity'. I really think, I've acted as a fool, for not meeting you, or even actually trying to contact you, even though I suppose I pretty much know where you live.
I spent about thee weeks abroad, thinking, having fun, meeting new people and enjoying my time in a different environment. It kinda helped, or actually my head, so that it didn't burst into pieces. I hope u understand, that I just had to escape, not because of you or what you've done for me, it was just that.... I got pretty shocked, as you told me all that crap you have been through. I apologize, again. I think I can't apologize enough, but.... before I start to seem like an idiot, I just mute myself.
Okay, and now, the next time you meet me at the street, I s'pose you just scream inside and runaway as fast as you can, but luckily I like to take risks. I just hope you read this O-O.....
Let me make just one thing clear for you. I like you. I really do.
And I promise, if we, in any way, can be able to create a real, true relationship, I can try to hold on from your wish, that I must not fall in love with you. I promise. I will try.
-Oliver.
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